So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
