i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Alive.
So much puke
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
