Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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