Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
