Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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