You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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