1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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