the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Are we still banned from the library?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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