its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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