your room smells of hookers.
And success
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
