I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
