she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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