my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
