in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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