I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
