Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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