I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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