at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
