Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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