I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
two words: eviction party
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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