She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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