Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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