just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
