yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize