I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
