They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize