I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize