just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
