i will never coherently bang her
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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