it's too hot outside to masturbate.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Ladies don't puke and tell
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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