i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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