whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
