where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
