so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
pray to the hookup gods
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
