i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize