Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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