At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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