I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
