I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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