My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
