You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
