They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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