he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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