you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
