This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Farmville is her only friend.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Come on in and take your pants off
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