hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
