Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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