You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
