apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
