no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
