I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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