Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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