I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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