ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
