my vag is so smooth its legendary
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
