Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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