my being single is dangerous.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
