And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
