After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
