just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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