Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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