do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
