Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
