i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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