what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
