worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
last night I used snow as a chaser
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
