Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
