You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
